Wednesday 29 April 2020

Cri de Coeur

After conducting a funeral earlier today, I'm not as miserable as I was at the start of the day; but though I joke to colleagues about having episodes where I feel 'everything I do is pointless, I'm going into the garden to eat worms', and much as I know those feelings existed long before the Current Crisis, our conditions don't help. 

Yesterday involved too many encounters with technology. A Deanery meeting over Zoom was followed by two Microsoft Teams gatherings in the evening. I thought I left myself ample time to get into the Infants School governors' meeting, but managed to join for thirty seconds before the computer froze completely. It took more than 25 minutes to gain access again; I think it had something to do with being offered two separate methods of opening Teams and picking at first both, then the wrong one. The wrong one for the school meetings seems to be the right one for the Air Cadets. My computer is probably too elderly to cope with this as effectively as it should.

But not as elderly as ex-Lay Reader Lillian's: she still operates in Windows 8 and asking her to record a Bible reading for this week's audio service turned out more problematic than it seemed. In the end I went down the hill and handed my laptop to her through the doorway so she could record her bit and then give back to me. 

I have tried to work out how to link my phone to Facebook Live, and failed. On my own, I gave up when the Motorola website advised 'to proceed with this you must enable Feature X' and presented me with a link; clicked on, the link took me to a page which informed me 'Feature X is not available'. Dr Bones tried to help, but for whatever reason the features she can see on her phone don't appear on mine. 

Other churches stage massive Zoom services and this and that. Some of my colleagues post photos online showing how they've managed to mock up the Sacre-Coeur in their spare bedrooms and got twenty thousand hits every time they post videos of themselves saying Vespers. Fr Thesis operates a food bank from his church and has been recording Youtube assemblies for his parish school. Fr Donald at Elmham has conducted six COVID-related funerals. Alice Whalley has written in the Church Times about dealing with the flow of needy people arriving on her London vicarage doorstep 'because they didn't know where else to turn', while she hands out food, tops up phones, and re-bandages an ulcerous leg. 

In my ten years here, I have had precisely one person turn up unexpectedly on the doorstep asking for help with food. Since lockdown began, I've offered to help at the school and been told it's not necessary; have asked whether they need extra assistance at the food bank and was informed they're fine, thank you; and responded to the diocese's appeal for temporary hospital chaplains only to hear nothing back after submitting my details. I suppose I shouldn't complain - but, reprehensibly, I do!

Monday 27 April 2020

Rosegarden Funeral Party - Approved Gothic

Determined to write about something other than disease and the shortcomings of the Anglican hierarchy, I was pleased that one of the online Goth clubs lately heaving their way onto various streaming platforms helped me along. You know that most of the time I maintain some allegiance to the Goth world almost despite the music rather than because of it; this month so far my downloads have included one of Dusty Springfield’s more obscure recordings, ‘Time on My Hands’ by Al Bowlly (heard on the soundtrack to the movie about Francis Bacon’s relationship with George Dyer, Love Is The Devil), and Johnny Cash’s country-cum-rock cover of Soundgarden’s ‘Rusty Cage’. I rarely find an artist I can enthuse about more generally: Rykarda Parasol was the last. Rosegarden Funeral Party, then, come as a welcome change.

It was ‘Streetlights’ that caught my ear, a beautiful, melancholic, OTT wall-of-sound track that reminds me so very much of something I can’t quite remember. Its mood is like Soft Cell’s ‘Say Hello Wave Goodbye’ turned up several notches and much less camp, but it’s not quite that. It might come back to me. Anyway, the song stood out a mile from the unambitious material around it. Not so Goth, perhaps, and of course all the more Goth for not being, if you see what I mean.

‘Streetlights’ comes from the band’s first album – rather a short one – titled Martyr. Before that came an EP, The Chopping Block, and a smattering of singles. Before she set up Rosegarden, singer-songwriter Leah Lane’s earlier project was titled Moon Waves and consciously called attention to a wider range of influences; but since then she and her new collaborators (well, one’s her brother so possibly not that new) have acquired a grandiose and dramatic style leaving the more homespun image of Moon Waves far behind. Somehow they’ve acquired the wherewithal to appear in a variety of striking costumes for photoshoots – red suits for the chaps, for instance – and are represented by Rocky Road Touring which also deals with Goth royalty Bauhaus, Clan of Xymox and the Mission. This is not bad considering Ms Lane is 22.

The band’s earlier stuff is firmly within the trad-Goth template, albeit competently and in fact interestingly done. But Martyr is something far more ambitious, opening that template up with lush arrangements and Lane’s wonderful voice, strong and distinctive enough to stand out. ‘The second coming of traditional Goth’, the Chicago Tribune termed them at the end of last year, but if so it’s a genre transformed into something decidedly different from whatever it might have been in 1984: it’s a form of trad-Goth which couldn’t have existed until now. Martyr apparently traces the singer’s recovery from a broken relationship, the songs written in the order in which they appear, but at my advanced age it’s only the memory of emotion that I hear beneath the music, which possesses a beauty that speaks for itself quite apart from any narrative pegged to real life. It’s ravishing.

On Rosegarden’s website Ms Lane mentions the band’s ‘determination towards gentility, humility, graciousness and kindness’ and casting about for information I was struck by their role in Dallas’s Goth scene sociologically as much as musically. By September last year, Rosegarden had decided to leave the city in favour of Los Angeles, but in the meantime had taken out a year’s lease on a house in the Garland district which they proceeded to ‘paint black and red’, deck out as Gothically as they could, and then use as a base for a series of twelve funeral-themed parties – really operating as a monthly club – the first being called ‘Obituary’. “I felt that Dallas has been missing a traditional Goth night for a long time, and I wanted to start one,” Lane told the Dallas Observer, “When we got the house it was kind of a no-brainer to me. … I want to further create a community that encourages one another and understands one another and listens to one another and supports one another on a more personal level.” The Observer’s reporter found not only a variety of black-clad young people scattered around the house and yard but a corset maker, a hairdresser, an artist and two photographers all offering services and produce.

How far Rosegarden got with their parties I’m not sure; certainly those, and much else, has been stymied by the pandemic. Dallas’s Goths won’t be meeting anywhere at the moment. But Ms Lane has, all being well, plenty of time to take those dreams, and music, further.

Saturday 25 April 2020

Locked Down

Of course I can't see S.D. at the moment: I was due to go to London to visit him the day after, as it happened, I went into seclusion in March, but had already decided that discretion would keep me away from the capital. However, I was eventually able to speak to him and as usual he was a fund of helpful information. 

A friend of his (not a priest) cares for a church in Gloucestershire. It’s in the grounds of her (big) house. There are about fifteen families in the hamlet and hardly any services. She took a photograph of her daughter praying in the church and put it on Facebook. Clearly she was denounced to the Diocese because later she got a call telling her to keep the church locked:

‘I can’t lock it. It doesn’t have a lock. It hasn’t had a lock since the 14th century when it was built.’
‘Then you must chain and padlock it shut.’
‘I can’t. There’s nothing to put a chain on unless we put bolts into the walls.’
‘Then you must chain the churchyard shut.’
‘I can’t. There isn’t a gate. There isn’t even a wall or a fence.’
‘Then you must ensure the grass is not cut so people can’t get near the church.’


The background is of course the Church's plague regulations, the same ones that the Archbishop of Canterbury has now claimed were only ever intended as 'guidelines', yet which the Bishop of Rochester threatened his clergy with disciplinary measures for breaking. S.D. has never had that much affection for the Archbishop of Canterbury but what sympathy was there has now evaporated. His account of watching the Easter Day broadcast from Lambeth was perhaps the least scathing part of our conversation.

'He stood at his kitchen table, an Old Etonian in one of his two palaces, trying to convince the working classes that he's ordinary. He had a perfectly serviceable chapel yards away and my guess is that people would have been far more reassured to see him there instead. Nobody's taken in by this rubbish.'

- or words to that effect ...

Thursday 23 April 2020

St Thomas the Martyr, East Clandon

The last church apart from my own I will probably visit for some time, St Thomas's East Clandon is an unassuming village church not far away from Guildford. I managed to slip in at the back of a midweek service just before my incarceration with a cough in the middle of March. Appealing though St Thomas's is, you wouldn't describe it as remarkable ecclesiastically, even though there is a very dramatic Gothic Revival tomb in the side chapel, and the chancel seems to have been revamped in the 1920s. Instead the galvanising influence in taking East Clandon up the candle seems to have been AL Poole, incumbent for a mere six years between 1949 and 1954. During his time the calvary against the east wall was brought in as a memorial to the war dead. Fr Poole appears in the memorial list of the Guild of All Souls so you can see where he was coming from. Since then a rather fine statue of the BVM, the tabernacle in the side chapel, and a dramatic window depicting Becket awaiting his fate have all appeared. The current incumbent is a sound fellow so this is all safe for the time being!




Tuesday 21 April 2020

Concentrate!

'It's Jeremy!' the cheery voice on the other end of the phone informed me, and it took a slight distance into the conversation before I worked out from the context that he was the priest from the Roman Catholic parish. Out of sight, out of mind, I suppose, although along with a great many other people Jeremy had in fact drifted into my mind several times over the weeks since the lockdown began and then just as promptly drifted out again. 

All clergy, unless they are in positions where they are very busy, seem to be finding the removal of normal routines a challenge and once I worked out who my interlocutor was we talked about that. Jeremy lives next door to his church in Hornington and so unlike us Anglicans is allowed to go into it and hold solitary services (I don't know why nobody has asked ++Justin what he thinks of this unconscionable irresponsibility on the part of the Papists). Naturally for him this means a mass each day. 'I've started saying the Canon in Latin as I don't know it as well and it slows me down. It forces me to make it more of a meditation', he said. We spoke a bit about making sure the rhythm of fast and feast, the structuring of time, continues. 

I felt a bit chastened. Swanvale Halt hasn't been a daily mass parish for a generation so I don't feel obliged to offer my missa solitaria more often than once a week, keeping the spiritual pilot light of the church lit; in fact, being restrained about that seems to me to honour the sign of deprivation which the reduction in the Eucharist represents. But of course I have kept up the Office, morning and evening. However, although doing it on my own removes the strain of feeling that it's something I am leading for others, not having those others makes it more likely I will get things wrong, or my attention wander to the extent that I will start talking through with myself some extraneous issue which might be on my mind. In fact I became so annoyed with myself just before Easter that this damaging of the Office became one of the things I mentioned when I surreptitiously went to the church to make my solitary confession, the best I could do in the circumstances. 

I remember S.D. once asking me about my experience with the Office and we agreed how nigh-impossible it is to maintain absolutely mindful engagement with the rite all the way through. Human beings are quite capable of keeping multiple thoughts at different mental levels, and switching between one and another involuntarily. Closing down the mental noise is an important part of the spiritual life, but it isn't half a hard one to achieve. If I manage to do anything in the current restrictions, perhaps it could be making some progress on that.

Sunday 19 April 2020

Steel Yourself to be Ungenerous

(Seriously, when I Googled 'benevolence' this was one of the first images that came up. The implication is a bit cynical even for me).

The COVID crisis is bringing many fascinating illustrations of how human beings think and function. One of them shines light on responses to government decision-making. I’ve got into several conversations about whether it’s appropriate or not to criticise the government for its actions, and as I find it hard to understand why we shouldn’t, I think about why people might say that.

Interestingly the crisis isn’t essentially ideological. If you always believed the Tories were evil, you’ll carry on framing the question in terms of their evil motivations, but whether decisions were or weren’t taken at particular moments is a more practical than ideological matter. That means we’re challenged to set aside what we might have thought before, because those patterns of thinking aren’t relevant.

It strikes me that if you have a self-critical personality, you will find it very hard to criticise anyone else. You may feel deeply that you have no right at all to be critical of other people, and instead you put the best possible interpretation on their actions. This is not necessarily bad, and certainly within some spiritual traditions, Christianity not least, we’re encouraged not to think about the failings of others. But what’s happening now challenges those instincts to the core. Faced with the brutal clarity of the situation, that governmental decisions have an obvious effect on how many thousands of people die, nice, kind, generous-minded people are forced to do what they resist doing and make a judgement. For such individuals, doing that is really cognitively painful, and the alternative is to resort to versions of ‘we all make mistakes’, suggesting that the judgement should not be made, and that anyone who does is cruel and harsh.

Self-critical people often have to learn that self-assertiveness – defending yourself and those you are responsible for against failure and harmful decision-making – is not the same as being rude and nasty. You are merely deciding that someone didn’t do effectively the job they said they would do, and were perhaps contracted to do. In democracies, governments have not only, in an election, been contracted to do a certain job, but they’ve argued and demanded to do it, and fought others for the right to. To bear that in mind isn’t unkind or unreasonable, certainly not when the consequences of decisions are so severe. It’s a matter of self-defence.

Friday 17 April 2020

Redrawing the Map


This photograph may not look very much but it represents a bit of an adventure. My house is built into the side of quite a steep hill, and so when you come out of the back door you ascend some steps to the garden. The gradient rises gently towards the bottom end (if it makes sense to have a bottom end which is higher than the top end), but if you turn left and cross in front of the pond you then climb even higher to a sort of dell surrounded by laurel bushes and trees. This is where the stump of the great eucalyptus which had to be felled in 2018 stands. 

To one side of this clearing is a rough area of ivy beneath a variety of trees - a couple of hazels, a sycamore, what might be a sickly elm (of course there are no other kinds). This is where, in my dreams, I locate the next folly, The Ruin (or Swanvale Halt Castle), the construction of which that little Gothic window you can see in the photo is awaiting. Beyond that is a rotten fence which warns you that you are approaching the precipitous and almost sheer drop down to the road. It wouldn't actually stop you falling, but it would give you advance notice of your headlong demise. 

Today amid the raindrops - the first, delicious rain we've had in mid-Surrey for quite a while - I ventured into this area to clear some of the ivy. One of my other schemes has been to construct a Zigzag Path which will lead from the summit of the hill here down in the direction of the road, if that's at all practical, so after cutting some of the ivy I investigated the fence and the area around it. I became aware that the fence leads further in the direction of the house, and the flat plateau is much larger than I realised. In fact, that area of the summit runs at least ten feet through a variety of bushes before it reaches the drop onto the stone-walled terrace next to the path around the house. In theory I knew there must be something in that area, but I had no clear idea what was under the trees there.

This is not the first time the garden has sprung a surprise on me; it was in my third year here that I discovered the Secret Corner. But it's been ten years and eight months now. Surely there's nothing else left to find within this not-very-large space?

I was wondering, as I looked around the wet undergrowth, what to do with it. Unwittingly, on being told about my find, Ms Trollsmiter came up with the answer: 'Narnia awaits!' she said. It is crying out for a lamp-post, isn't it?

Wednesday 15 April 2020

Unintentional Conspiracies

The picture emerging of the UK’s initial response to the coronavirus outbreak is increasingly clear, grim, and, for anyone trying to be honest, horribly familiar. From the time in the middle of January that news reports began to discuss what was happening in China, the UK government and its scientists were also talking about it, and concluding, first, that C-19 wasn’t a problem, and then that it was but that the best approach would be to manage its spread rather than repress it. Not until the middle of March was the government reluctantly dragged towards doing the things other states had done and which public opinion was demanding. Behind that was a group of scientists apparently giving the politicians advice that fitted their preconceptions and hopes, and politicians without the knowledge or inclination to challenge it. When you’re being told what you want to hear by people who are subconsciously tailoring their words to what they think you’ll accept, it requires colossal strength of mind to question the process. Why would you? It becomes a conspiracy of optimism. After that, once it’s clear you’ve made a possibly catastrophic error, you don’t want to face it: your natural instinct is to deny it to yourself as much as anyone else. Your failure, your responsibility, takes ages to digest, especially if you’re still having to make decisions.

It hasn’t just happened here, of course. People in France, Italy and Spain have exactly the same sorts of questions about their governments’ actions and inactions as we do here, and when the story is eventually told the UK’s experience will have to be put into a wider context: other countries have found themselves in the same place as us, not, perhaps, for exactly the same reasons, but with the same overarching combination of complacency and denial. Sandra Zampa, assistant minister of health in Italy, said that as the Italian government watched what was playing out in China during the first half of February, ‘it was like looking at a science-fiction movie’ – something that wasn’t their problem, until it was.

I struggle to remember what I thought at the time, and the fact that I struggle probably indicates that I didn’t think very much. If challenged about it during those early weeks in January and February, I expect I would have expected vaguely that the disease wouldn’t escape from the Far East, and that if it did efforts would be made to combat it, and that it wouldn’t be much more of a problem than seasonal flu: when I started work in Swanvale Halt, we were all exercised about swine flu, and of course not much came of that in the event. I certainly wasn’t writing to our MP Jeremy Hunt about it. Then, at the start of March, as the Government started to talk about allowing the disease to infect most of the population as the best way of managing it, I sat with a calculator and took about ten seconds to work out that, with the expected rates of infection and mortality, that policy would kill anything between half a million and a million-and-a-half people. Really? I thought. Is that actually unavoidable? The experts seemed to be saying that the Chinese policy of lockdown would be ineffective; now, I trust Mr Johnson no further than I can throw him, but the scientists were independent, weren’t they? Surely they can do the same simple calculation as I’ve done; have they not done it? or, having done it, don’t they believe it; or, believing it, do they think it’s inevitable? Why do so many other countries seem to think differently? I didn’t actually do anything, though. I’m slow on the uptake.

I point to this only because I see the same thing playing out in the much lower-stakes processes in which I take part. The people sitting in a circle at a PCC meeting, for instance, know and usually (unless the church community is really dysfunctional) like each other. They don’t want to be nasty and don’t want to push one another too hard. They’re all going to have to carry on sharing the same space and time, and conflict is awkward and embarrassing. It takes a lot of effort to hold on to the purposes of the organisation and the cautions that should operate in it, and take the risk of disagreement. Everyone is usually willing to accept diplomatic untruths and half-explanations that allow them to go home feeling all right, including ones that tell them there’s nothing they can do, and therefore they can park the issue. Most of the time, it doesn’t matter that much, and in fact diplomacy is just what you need. I speak as someone who finds themselves going down that route a lot.

At the moment I’m reading through the Gospel of Luke in the mornings. We are used to thinking of Luke as the most polished and literary of the Evangelists, but I hadn’t realised how often he builds ambiguities into familiar narratives. His version of the Parable of the Talents concludes with the landowner ordering his enemies to be slaughtered in front of him, a disturbing detail missing from Matthew’s account; and several of Jesus’s particularly double-edged statements in Luke 13-16 have no parallels in the other Gospels, including the strange story of the Prodigal Son (as someone once pointed out to me, the Prodigal is welcomed home, but not restored to his earlier condition: his elder brother remains his father’s heir, and his own inheritance is gone). I note that Jesus’s enemies in Luke are not just openly hostile to him, but deceitful; thus the authorities send ‘spies who pretended to be honest, to trap him’. The narrative recognises human failure and the deceits and lies that cover up failure and self-interest.

We all want to think the best will happen, and to imagine the best of others. Most of the time we are right. Ascribing the mistakes the UK seems to have made in its treatment of the epidemic to the ‘evil’ of the Tory Party, as some people I know do, ignores similar problems in other countries, and doesn’t identify exactly what the evil might be. Perhaps neglect is a sort of evil: it can certainly have catastrophic  results. In a vivid phrase, Jason Hickel of the LSE wrote of the UK government that their “minds are so strafed by neoliberalism” that they find it impossible to envisage positive action rather than cajoling, nudging, hoping it will all turn out all right; this is different from malice. I’m a bit like that too: I find it almost unbearable to tell people directly what to do. But then I’m not responsible for managing a public health emergency. Perhaps being aware of my own basic shortcomings might help in identifying where things have gone wrong elsewhere.

We know that not everywhere has followed the same course. South Korea, Singapore and Taiwan instantly concluded, based on their past experience, that what began in China would come to them pretty quickly. Alone among Western democracies, Canada had a significant number of deaths during the SARS epidemic of 2005, so they were primed for the same thing to happen again. The outliers, and therefore the most interesting cases, are places like Germany, Iceland and New Zealand, who’d had no recent experience of pandemic disease but acted as though they had. It may be that eventually the question we find ourselves asking is not why things went wrong in the UK and elsewhere, but why they went right where they did. Failure is the normal human reaction to crisis; it’s success which is the anomaly.

Monday 13 April 2020

Don't Forget the Cross

Oh dear, poor Archbishop Justin can do nothing right this Easter. A peevish appearance on Youtube last week implying that keeping clergy out of church buildings seemed to be the biggest issue facing the See of Canterbury was matched by an Easter Day sermon to the nation described by one thoughtful commentator as ‘quietly disastrous’. In fact there was a link: Abp Justin couldn’t help stressing on Sunday that the Resurrection gives us ‘a hope that is surer than stone; than any architecture’. Take that to mean, ‘You don’t need churches, do as you’re told.’ But that was a minor if noticeable lapse; more serious was the quite striking secularism dressed up in religious language.   

When he wrote his short article ‘Easter and the End of Christianity’, Mark Vernon only had access to Lambeth Palace’s initial taster for the Archbishop’s sermon, but the full version didn’t change the picture. ++Justin ran with St Peter’s speech in Acts 10 to draw the lesson “the resurrection of Jesus is the solid foundation of all hopes for a better world … the first Christians were empowered with the resources to live in ways that brought abundant life to rich and poor, strong and weak, the privileged and the rejected … Even in the dark days of this Easter we can feed on hope. We can dream of what our country and our world will look like after the pandemic … There needs to be a resurrection of our common life … In the new life of the resurrection of Jesus, we dare to have faith in life before death”. “Hope”, he states, “is the Christian distinctive”. The Archbishop clearly wanted to speak to the moment, to our chaotic and uncertain circumstances.

The message sounds commendable”, says Dr Vernon, “the words of a civic leader fulfilling his responsibilities. But it turns bishops into exemplary citizens, not heralds of another country that’s already here … Jesus did not preach a better life”. I’m not sure I’d go along with that completely, remembering John 10 – “I have come that they may have life and have it fully” – but there is certainly an abiding tension in Christian thinking between an otherworldly and a this-worldly focus. The question is what 'new life' means, and where it comes from. 

The ‘new life’ to which Christians are called in Christ can’t be completely disconnected from what happens to us in this world. Living in Christ has consequences in terms of relationships, resources and social organisation; it does indeed mean recognising the unique value of others as beloved by God, immersion with thankfulness into a life which cannot at heart be bad because the eternal Son came to share it. God is concerned with what we do. Yet the risen life means, above all, being committed to never-ending change; and the central metaphor for change in Christianity is death, dying to our sins, to our delusions, to the falsehoods that distort life. Ultimately there is actual death to face, an experience (if our faith is up to it) transformed by the knowledge that Jesus has been there first. The first Christians were indeed empowered to live in different ways, but what empowered them was the death they underwent, the dying to selfhood that they took on board when they bought into the death of Jesus. It wasn’t the hope of reforming everyday experience that drove them forward, but the revolution in relationships and the order of priorities brought about by God in Christ. It wasn’t a case of saying ‘Christ is risen, we can build a better world’ but ‘Christ is risen, his Kingdom comes’. The Cross isn’t just a horrible accident reversed by the Empty Tomb so that we mop our brows and conclude ‘that’s all right then’: both are part of the same experience. The great paradox at the heart of Christian experience is that you die and receive life back, but a life transfigured by the crucifixion, and leaving out the Cross nudges Christianity towards the this-worldly end of the scale. The one and the other sound similar, but they’re not. 

I can’t imagine ++Justin doesn’t know this, so perhaps he just felt it was a little hard to express to the millions of unchurched souls hungry for hope who would be listening to him. He wouldn’t be wrong if so. I am wondering what deaths I am being summoned to die currently. 

I’ve been deeply disheartened at times since the churches were shut and worship stopped, and I’ve become aware how much of my own productivity is driven by external pressures rather than by anything I choose to do; only today I suddenly realised that the lockdown casts a paralysing shadow over my thinking, exaggerating a tendency I have always had of coming up with reasons for delaying this or that task until something else becomes clear. I wonder where that particular sort of procrastination comes from. I’ve dipped into envy and despair. None of this is new, but it comes at me with renewed force because of the removal of some of the outside forces that usually operate on me. I found it exceptionally hard to pray for the Prime Minister when he was ill; perhaps he will discover he is called to change aspects of himself, too. Hope, after all, is the Christian distinctive.

Sunday 12 April 2020

Not Entirely Following the Liturgical Manuals

Stumbling through the liturgy took on a very literal sense this morning, as managing the Rectory stairs with the Paschal Candle in one hand and my phone in the other proved slightly beyond my abilities. Originally I wasn’t going to do anything other than a missa solitaria but when Il Rettore told me that the ceremonies of the day would be broadcast from Lamford Rectory I thought I would try too. We usually get about twenty souls at the Dawn Mass and so this would give everyone at least a taste of what happens. The trouble is that Il Rettore has a second pair of hands available and I don’t. As well as tripping on the stairs, the first part of the video I managed to shoot consists of almost total darkness, the Service of Light is out of focus (though you do get the birdsong effect I was keen to capture), the incense grains managed to avoid the charcoal almost completely and so produced nothing more than a congealed mess in the thurible, and I repeatedly forgot where things were and had to move around in a less than ideally decisive way. I haven’t sung the Exsultet since I was curate at Lamford: it doesn’t half go on a long time but at least I didn’t choke.

Even if you have one other person available it makes doing this sort of thing a lot easier. Other churches, of course, are much better resourced and can produce professional-looking experiences by layering music and speech and film together and so on; I’m not going to be able to make anything of that kind. Canon Lucy Winkett of St James’ Piccadilly made the point on the wireless this morning that the current crisis hasn’t really brought out any new moral challenges, just cast sharper light on old ones, not least our human competitiveness: how ‘productive’ you can be during lockdown. This applies to everyone including clergy. Some people find it hard enough to get up in the morning while others stifle their uncertainties, if they feel any, under activity. (Was Abi, the terrifyingly competent, holy, and sympathetic curate who gets so far under Fr Adam Smallbone’s skin in the TV series Rev that he’s relieved when she’s moved, based on Canon Winkett as the rumour goes? No one has ever confirmed, or denied … ).

If it was just my own spiritual life I was concerned about, I’d be content to sit and say the Office and pray for the parish and its people for the duration of the lockdown. I’m not exposing my meagre efforts at technological engagement and mangled liturgy, or even celebrating services alone at all, because it’s fun. I’ve taken the view that what the congregation need most is something to maintain first their connection with God, and, second, their connection with the parish, the other human beings in relationship with whom they deepen their experience of God. Quite minimal material can do that: it doesn’t need to be a multimedia sound-and-light extravaganza, thankfully. I also have a sense that our instinct to try and reproduce our normal experience as much as we can should be resisted: you can’t learn the lessons of deprivation if you’re pushing the sign of deprivation away. In the garden on Maundy Thursday, bringing the Vigil to an end, I said as usual the Passiontide hymn from Malling Abbey:

God’s Israel, a remnant left,
Must die, to bring to life
New Israel.

And God only knows what that will look like.

One of the resources I’ve sent out to the good folk of Swanvale Halt included simple ‘table services’ for Holy Week, adapted from stuff prepared some years ago by the Anglican Franciscans in Australia, and I’ve been following them as it seems the least I can do. They are structured around mealtimes, and draw the connection between the table of the altar and the table at homes. Normally I would break my Lenten fast at breakfast after the Dawn Mass with champagne and pain-au-chocolat; this morning I had the drink, and a defrosted chocolate cupcake preserved from the last pre-lockdown Messy Church. When we get through that early service, and meet in the hall for breakfast, there are always a number of sensations feeding into it. There is the feeling that we’ve been through something ever-so-slightly testing together, in the sense of getting up early and doing something complicated that could easily collapse into a shambles, the tiniest, tiniest intimation of ordeal; there’s the sense that we’re grown-ups doing something slightly mad, silly and naughty; and the knowledge that we’re taking up rituals and customs that we set down six weeks before, things that tell us who we are in Christ. Those add up to a sort of slight hysteria, all defused and dissipated over breakfast: a release. You can’t do that the same way, on your own, no matter how you might strain to reproduce the customary patterns. Of course I should have had the Scriptures in my mind, but instead it was filled with the lyrics of PJ Harvey’s ‘Good Fortune’: ‘Threw my bad fortune off the top of a tall building/I’d rather have done it with you.’




Saturday 11 April 2020

A Wee Bit of History

Having listened to his mini-lecture on ancient house churches and their contested relevance to modern Christian experience, I said I would share Fr Thesis's thoughts and so I am (note: he appears here under his real name ...)!


As Fr Thesis points out, under our current circumstances there is a lot of 'loose talk' (you always get 'loose talk' when there's a war on) about how our current dispersed and scattered state is compelling us to return to the condition early Christians found themselves in when they worshipped in private dwellings, and how good this is for us. 'The church is the people, not the building', as though we might forget. And, as he further points out, this is very wide of any recognisable mark. His first argument is the most telling: the original house-churches were not all-family affairs, as we are forced to retreat to at the moment (if we have a family and are not just miserable singletons), but precisely allowed the expansion of that family unit into something more inclusive. That was the point. 'Who is my mother and my brothers?' said Our Lord, I recall.

Peter draws attention to the class-based nature of a lot of the early Christian groups we know about, such as the church in the household of Prisca and Aquila mentioned repeatedly in the Book of Acts, or the gatherings that go so awry in Corinth. These householders were wealthy enough to own nice big properties they could put at the disposal of the nascent Church, and he is right, this is the image we tend to have in our minds. But oddly most of the Christian meetings we get glimpses of in the Scriptures don't take place in those settings: those gatherings occur in upper rooms, the most famous of course being the one the disciples use in Jerusalem which may or may not be either the site now called the Cenacle or the rival one at the Syriac church of St Mark elsewhere in the city. When Dorcas dies in Joppa she's laid out in an 'upper room' and that's where the church meets to mourn her. I especially like the account of the raising of Eutychus who gets bored to sleep by St Paul in a church meeting in 'Troas' and falls from a window, is 'picked up dead' and then snatched back from death by Paul's prayers. The room, lit by many lamps, from which poor Eutychus falls is so far up it's on the third storey. Now, these buildings were not the domus of the wealthy, which were always laid out on one level apart from the odd office or bedroom: these are the structures inhabited by more humble classes, the insulae or apartment blocks which could go up pretty high. I don't know enough about the internal organisation of Roman dwellings to say much about this, but these accounts seem to hint at a pattern of a biggish room above others within the same apartment. Most of Roman literature focuses on life in the villa or domus, but this is obviously something different. (Incidentally, what the Bible calls 'Troas' is probably the small Roman city of Alexandria on the Aegean coast of what's now Turkey - Troas was a region rather than an actual place).

Another point that occurs to me is that although the development of the early house-church was at least partly driven by the need of Christian groups to have a place to meet unmolested, there was also a eucharistic impetus. Once the sharing of a symbolic meal becomes the central element in a Christian gathering, around which the believers' experience of Jesus is organised, there needs to be somewhere to do it - somewhere with a table, or at the very least, somewhere people can sit on the floor and pass bread around in a tolerably reverent atmosphere. You can't do that in the synagogue (even if you want to keep attending synagogue worship) and you can't do it very easily hanging round in places like Solomon's Portico (Acts 5.12). The bespoke church building is not a deviation from the ideal model of the primitive house church, it's a clear development from it propelled by the same motivations.

It's a truism of spoilsport historians like me that most of the time history exhibits development rather than exciting rupture. Development brings us to where we are now; and, as I've said, I can't see the physical dispersal of the Christian community as anything other than an impoverishment, a wounding, even if God will bring good things from it as he always does. Our situation in 2020 is nothing like that of our 1st-century forebears, and why should it be - any more than 1st-century medical practice should dictate the procedures of modern hospitals?

Thursday 9 April 2020

Open and Shut


Living a 'convenient' distance from Swanvale Halt church, there was never a question of me continuing to go there to hold any kind of service, even on my own, once public worship was suspended in Anglican churches, so it's not an issue in which I have any direct interest. I did note the diversity of practice. Once upon a time I and Dr Bones went to a dinner with two congregants in Lamford also attended by James Langstaff, who is currently Bishop of Rochester, and was then Suffragan Bishop of Kings Lynn. He seemed a modest and amusing soul. I wonder what's happened to him in the intervening fourteen years, because as soon as the ban came in he wrote to his priests saying that if they so much as went in their churches they'd be subject to the Clergy Discipline Measure. Why did he feel he had to state that? Meanwhile, in London, Bishop Sarah Mullally was allowing clergy to hold solitary services in churches provided they lived adjoining them, or didn't have to enter any public area to get to them, but last weekend she'd reversed that, clearly lent on by Archbishop Justin Welby for not toeing the line. The whole argument is mystifying, except that it presumably reflects prejudices on both sides. Clergy and bishops don't always trust each other, and in a relationship of mistrust any stress opens up the basic rift. Bishops expect to be defied by resentful clergy, and clergy expect to be ordered about by mean-minded bishops. Each provokes the behaviour they anticipate. But I do find it depressing that, given all the things he could have spoken about in these trying times, Justin Welby chooses to take to Youtube to denounce his priests for not doing as they're told. You don't find the Pope doing that; Pope Francis stands in an empty St Peter's and lifts a monstrance to bless the sorrowing World for which Jesus died. No wonder Lambeth Palace disabled the comments. 

I think some of my spiky colleagues have taken to the missa solitaria rather too readily (no pesky laypeople around!), but equally I don't like the sense that others (perhaps many bishops) are secretly enjoying the spurious sense of pioneer edginess that comes from holding services via Zoom and so forth, and allowing themselves to imagine that this is maybe superior to a collection of often elderly people meeting together in a draughty old building. It isn't. 'Church' involves real, embodied human beings, and when they can't meet, the Body of Christ is sundered. 

This morning I took part in the Chrism Mass which the Bishop of Dorking broadcast from her front room. All very well, and as I had the order of service on my screen and so could only hear the audio it was actually less distracting than having lots of other clergy around me. But it wasn't the real thing. Even though the Chrism Mass is one of my least favourite occasions in the year, and this morning I didn't have to make my way to the cathedral, find a seat or put up with my brethren for an hour and a half, I'd rather have done that. Moving worship by preference to the digital realm is a sort of capitulation to the age-old human fantasy of disposing of our inconvenient bodies, which is surfacing once again in the transhuman movement and with which Christianity should really not have anything to do.

I have felt very out of sorts the last day or two, but we'll leave that for another time. In fact a phone call to Dr Bones cheered me up. She has been attending virtual services at St Aldates in Oxford and finding it much more congenial than the days when she used to go there in person. 'Nobody trying to touch me, no having to look at anyone,' she enthused. 'Yes', I said, 'though there's a real service you can go to which is just like that, in most churches it's called the 8am'. 'Our local church has just got a new vicar, and I've found her online services,' went on the Dr, 'it's great, when she gets annoying I can just turn her off.' True, you can't do that at an 8am.

Tuesday 7 April 2020

Is It All Worth It?

There is part of me that itches to reject anything that mainstream opinion endorses, but when someone I know posted on LiberFaciorum a link to an interview in which Peter Hitchens denounces hysteria over COVID19 I found my initial weary reaction justified. I knew what was coming: Mr Hitchens is an intelligent man, of course, but thinks that intelligence can replace actual knowledge. ‘You don’t have to be an epidemiologist to come to a conclusion’. No, you don’t, but it might affect how anyone else regards your opinion, and explains why you feel so ignored and marginalised.

That doesn't mean he isn't right. I know no more than anyone else does whether the policies followed by the UK, and so many other countries to different degrees, are the correct ones. At the moment it’s all more-or-less informed guesswork. Even at the end of this, we may be not much the wiser. If the policies work, and we manage to get away with a modest number of deaths, there will always be those who argue that there was never a problem at all. In a way, scorn will be a sign of success.

But that seductive question, ‘Is it worth it?’ sounds challenging but turns slippery when you try to get a conceptual grip on it. What does worth mean in this context? If every human life is unique, you could argue with some point that a single life weighs heavier in the balance than the entire global economy, but most of us would feel uneasy pushing it that far. You might contend, conversely, that putting the economy into a protective coma will cost more lives than the sickness (and Mr Hitchens and Lord Sumption do), but either side of that equation sits a nebulous and indeterminate number. Do nothing, said the Imperial College modellers, and half a million people will die. Shield the vulnerable, and you take that toll down to a quarter of a million (about the number of British people we think died in the flu epidemic of 1918); lockdown and social distancing stand some chance of reducing it to a tenth of that or less. Yet it’s not that simple, because what we’re trying to do is increase the ability of the health service to cope with the extremely ill people who come its way, and the number of people that increased capacity/decreased demand is likely to save – in the sense of deferring their deaths a reasonable time, and to a different cause – is very hard to calculate. On the other hand, working out how many people would be saved by allowing more economic activity to carry on, and not be killed by murders, suicides, unemployment, malnutrition, or lack of resources available to spend on health provision over the next two decades or so, is a completely impossible task for any human agency. And can a life be worth more, or less, than a particular quantifiable amount of distress or suffering short of death? You’re left with a value judgement, nothing more.

‘Life or economy is not a choice’, while ‘economies can be rebuilt, lives can’t’. I can’t say I disagree much with either of these contrasted rhetorical statements. Businesses aren’t just businesses, not just methods of producing money (as some of my left-er friends seem to think). They are the way a community is bound together: they provide context and value to human lives, as well as funnelling creativity, albeit sometimes of a pretty basic character. It’s not a matter of choosing between life or money. But equally we should not forget that despite its power, money is a fiction. It always fascinates me that something we all use every day, something which is fundamental to keeping society functioning, is also a thing whose historical origins are unclear and whose exact nature and workings nobody can convincingly define. Globally, we all agree this stuff exists and that it works in a particular way, because it suits us; we give it its power, by tacit consensus. Money’s laws are not like natural laws, not like gravity or oxidation ratios; we determine them, and we can rewrite the fiction (the chapter on debt, or the chapter on borrowing) if we choose. We need to remember that, provided we all work together, we are in charge and not it: we need not be dazzled by its glamour. But I think that's a harder job than dealing with the pandemic.

Sunday 5 April 2020

A Revelation

Cycling back home from delivering groceries to Trevor and a newsletter to George ('supporting vulnerable people', that was), I was pleased to see Sarah by the side of the road. Sarah's a regular at church but has never signed up for anything, including the Electoral Roll, so I had no contact for her and hadn't had any contact since worship in church ceased. This was an opportunity to get an email address so I could send a newsletter. I didn't have a consent form to sign: GDPR seems to be one of the things which has been somewhat elbowed aside by the Current Crisis.

I remembered that Sarah worked at one of the supermarkets. She was on her way to work, as it happened. Of course she is a 'key worker', I said. Had she been aware of that now-lauded status? 'Not until this week,' she replied, with point

Friday 3 April 2020

Spring Colours

Yesterday was the first Spring mow of the garden; I think the grass is being restrained fairly successfully as there is quite a bit emerging which is neither grass nor moss, but stands some chance of developing into something more interesting. Meanwhile, though the camellias are in fact past their best (this photo was taken a couple of weeks ago), the celandines are still in full flood; I know many people regard them as pesky things, but I think they look like a field of stars. The frail-looking white blooms are wild strawberry, seen very close up. They used to grow in the beds at the front of the Rectory, but are now scattered across the lawn. I wonder if they will fruit?



Wednesday 1 April 2020

Remote Access

Just a couple of weeks ago, there were certain areas of our computers where very few of us had ever been; under the stresses of the times intrepid souls have ventured into those unfamiliar hinterlands and have discovered - Microsoft Teams. From never having participated in anything of the kind before, yesterday I attended two meetings via Teams in the evening. I couldn't get the program to recognise my computer's camera, which seems thoroughly suspicious but appears to be due to a box not being ticked on the Teams website. The school governors' meeting was calm and orderly, marshalled by the school secretary who'd worked out how to manage the program and then tutored individually those of us who were a bit clueless; the ATC committee meeting, in contrast, was chaotic as nobody knew quite what to do and everybody kept playing with the format. It was a bit like watching attenders at the Toddler Group battling over a favoured toy.

I could have attended a third meeting had I had the will, of the management board of our local ecumenical Christian youth work charity. That wasn't carried out via Microsoft Teams but Zoom, another application people have only just discovered. Unfortunately - having just mentioned the Toddler Group - I can't get out of my head one of the songs we customarily sing, 'Zoom zoom zoom, we're going to the Moon.' And now, friends, if you are familiar with that lyric, neither can you.