A Loathsome Lent

One should not say this, but Lent is loathsome. It is supposed to be six weeks of deepened spiritual wrestling but for many clergy it involves more activity rather than more reflection. That’s certainly what it’s felt like for me these first few days as I race a bit to keep up. I expect a lot of it depends what the ordinary schedule of your particular church is like, and when Ash Wednesday happens to fall in it.

My usual Lenten disciplines involve not consuming specially pleasurable things – alcohol and chocolate – and fasting on Fridays and Ash Wednesday itself. It’s not a very strict fast as I break it at 6pm in the evening and do drink water (only sensible) and black tea or coffee (necessary to stave off caffeine withdrawal symptoms), but I never enjoy not eating. It always makes me feel cold and distracted. Once upon a time I fasted on Wednesdays in Lent as well as Fridays but decided on balance it was doing more harm than good!

This year, though, I have something extra, and it’s not giving up biscuits which I tried on one occasion and hated; I am not listening to radio news programmes. In fact I stopped at the beginning of this week when I realised I was trying to gauge whether any particular report meant we were an inch closer to or further from nuclear obliteration and of course there is no end to this (unless obliteration comes). I still listen to a couple of bulletins through the day, but have turned off Today, The world at One, PM, and The world Tonight for the first time since my teens. This has been very odd: Radio 4 has been my constant companion and I find the silence strange. Even now I am typing with seashore noises in the background to provide some sound in the house. But what began as a means of preserving mental health and my ability to work has become a sort of fast. It remains to be seen what the Lord will do with it.