You Have Encountered an Irretrievable Error

Telling the tale more often won't make it any the less true, though I suspect that buried at the back of my mind is the thought it might. 

Over the last few days I've been doing reasonably well in my aim to turn the computer off before 11pm. Last night I thought I would do one more job, watch twenty minutes of the film I've got on the go, and then power down (myself as well as the machine). But the job proved impossible as Word wouldn't open. Very soon I discovered that no Microsoft product on my computer would open. 

As my renewed credit card had only just arrived I wondered whether having the old details would have invalidated my Microsoft account all of a sudden. Even validating the new card wasn't straightforward: the bank website wouldn't 'recognise the card', though the automated phone line did. But it made no difference. 

'Repair the application', suggested a help forum. I tried, and that didn't work either. Finally I surrendered to uninstalling and re-installing the whole Microsoft Office suite. That was no swift process, and was still going on near 1am, at which point I left it to its own devices. In the course of this, I'd managed to sit on my glasses - the pair I'd only had two months - and snap an arm. 

This morning Office was reinstalled, in a vile new version. That seemed like the end of the affair - until I tried to edit a photo in Corel PhotoPaint. That didn't work either. At the end of a long process involving various Corel Corporation employees I concluded that I will need the new version of what I already had. Corel has reorganised its products recently, and it will cost over £300. Ow.

Grappling with technology sends me into a tailspin. I can never get used to the fact that it takes ages and ages to do anything, and things happen apparently for no reason. The amateur is left powerless looking at a screen which appears to be doing nothing, and this amateur, at any rate, pleads, cajoles, and weeps absurdly at an indifferent machine. Once upon a time I would get Ms Formerly Aldgate to deal with this as she never seemed to be fazed at all, but this is no longer an option. Admirably she viewed new technology and even new versions of the old technology, produced by the children at Microsoft paid well to fiddle and noodle with code, as an opportunity for learning, whereas I see it as a potential abyss into which all my efforts and endeavours are about to be sunk.

The new Office doesn't allow me to turn off email notifications jabbing into my side, metaphorically, from the right of the screen. That tells you all you need to know!