Exit Strategy

Anyone who watched the final series of Rev a couple of years ago might remember Adam's attempt to find alternative work after his decision to leave the Church, and discovering he's been effectively de-skilled during his years as a priest and rendered incapable of doing anything else, or at least anything consonant with his self-respect. Were I ever to be asked to hand down my Advice For Young Clergy (which I never will be), probably the first point would be 'Decide what you would be doing if you weren't doing this'. My own answer to this question has altered over the years: I like clothes so thought I might like to do tailoring, but it's such an involved and technical business that gets less realistic as I get longer in the tooth, so now the alternative work I have in my mind is cycle repairing, which I think I could stand a realistic chance of learning, is socially useful, and, fundamentally, practical. 'You've got lots of transferable skills - dealing with people, public speaking, project management and so on', Ms Formerly Aldgate said when we talked about this; but they are probably skills I won't actually want to use because having to use them ad nauseam would have contributed to any decision to get out in the first place. 

I must stress at this point that this is all completely theoretical as far as I'm concerned: I'm very, very fortunate to have a church community which is enthusiastic, happy and supportive and, occasional frustrations aside, I enjoy what I do. But you do come across clergy who very clearly don't want to do what they're doing, and it behoves one to think how one might respond in the same position. The general existential insecurity of working for God, who never calls you in for a supervision meeting or professional review, or gives you feedback on how you're doing, can create a nagging feeling at the back of your mind that the whole exercise is pointless, and if that feeling moves to the front of your mind it can corrode your whole working life. I imagine being a teacher is rather the same: if you cease to feel that what you're doing is useful you can't really do it effectively. Belief is part of the motivating force. 

However, while clergy suffer from this existential insecurity, at the same time they tend to enjoy great practical security. I am one of the last parish clergy to be appointed with freehold, meaning my job is absolutely secure unless I do something positively illegal (and even then getting rid of me would be hard work). Most priests no longer have quite such security of tenure, but even then the disruption of sacking someone who isn't working effectively is so great that it takes a lot of provocation before the Church gets anywhere near taking such a step. Even if your heart's not in it anymore, you can cling on in the hope things might change, or until you retire, marking time with increasing desperation and ill-temper, because you can't think of doing anything else or haven't the energy to change. I can think of little worse - a sort of spiritual zombiedom. Of course it does you no good, nor the parish; but one can see how it happens.