Oi

Yesterday we had no main morning service at Swanvale Halt: there was an ecumenical open-air service in Hornington town, following a precedent from a couple of years ago (although last year got missed out). These joint-church events tend to be sort of Evangelical-lite in tone, so it's not to my taste particularly, but there was nothing especially objectionable and I didn't have anything to do except stand in the park and join in.

I stood in the park because, although I decided to take a folding garden chair strapped to the back of my bicycle, while I was helping fetch more seating from the parish church hall someone sat on it. That was all right; I can stand up for an hour without suffering too many ill effects. What was more startling was that at the end of the event the lady who occupied my chair folded it up, put it under her arm, and began to leave the field. The chair was green, stripey and polyester, and clearly not one of the steel contract chairs from the church. Were I a saint I would of course have let her take it, but I'm not there yet.

'There was some research', commented Ms Formerly Aldgate, 'that kleptomaniacs aren't actually aware of what they're doing.' She always puts the most generous construction on things.