News from the Churchyard

Gentleman Joe and Candlestub Clem were on the churchyard bench this sunny afternoon as I was leaving the church after today's wedding. They told me Irish Alan had died. 

Irish Alan was the first of Swanvale Halt's alcoholics and vulnerable people I got to know when I arrived here six years ago. I actually didn't know a great deal about him apart from what came out of our direct dealings: his unkempt state sometimes made his presence a bit hard to cope with, which I know is wrong, and one should probably steel oneself in the knowledge that, one's impressions to the contrary aside, this person won't be around forever and you should do your best to engage with them. Sometimes I would meet him and he would drop his voice and tell me how he was a bit short this week and could I help with a fiver or a tenner. He always returned it, when he remembered. He would always, in so far as he could, help similarly vulnerable people, such as Micky the tramp who he took to buy clothes. He should have a requiem, but I will try to get some details from whichever local funeral director is dealing with the arrangements. 

UPDATE: When I called the Council yesterday they confirmed that they were still trying to sort out Alan's arrangements, but this morning Gentleman Joe told me he'd heard that Alan might not have died at all. The village undertakers have just called me to pass on the following message from the Council's Environmental Health department: 'It turns out reports of Alan's death have been much exaggerated and he is in fact at the Royal Surrey Hospital. I will accordingly stop trying to arrange his funeral.'

I will be able to re-use the post on a future occasion.