Our friend Donovan died last month in very sad circumstances. This is a picture of him on one of the Young Lord Declan's Goth Walks in the spring of 2009. We were all following the traditional route of the condemned from Newgate to Tyburn and, having finally reached Tyburn itself, were listening to Dex expatiate upon its history from a plinth. As usual bemused tourists couldn't resist listening too. I looked round and saw Donovan framed by 'ordinary' folk and was so tickled by the contrast I decided to take the photo. He clearly saw what I was up to and made an heroic effort to stop himself laughing.
We had a 'wake' for Donovan a couple of weeks ago and some of his family were there. They're very strong Christians from South Africa and always felt Donovan rather 'came from the planet Zog' as his father put it. I thought they might like to know they weren't the only Christians there and spoke to Donovan's dad. He told me (though I hadn't asked about it) that they felt assured of Donovan's being received by God, in fact having received two 'revelations' from different quarters about it. I wasn't sure what to say and still am not. I never had any remotely religious conversation with my friend and have no idea what he thought, but I'd be surprised if his opinions were anything like those of the rest of his family - and he certainly never showed any obvious signs of Christian commitment.
I often find that even people who are very hot conservative Christians, when it comes down to it, find themselves convinced that their loved ones are OK with the Lord even when they show none of the classic characteristics of conversion or commitment which the same conservative Christians insist on in everyone else. Ages ago I took the funeral service of a man with three children one of whom had opinions of this kind. 'He may not have known Jesus,' the son said firmly, 'but Jesus knew him'. Well, presumably so, but that's not exactly classic Protestant Evangelicalism, is it?
In fact I don't mean to criticise as I think this kind of, let's say, 'creative engagement with the tradition' is positive. Conservative Christians accept the damnation of those outside the boundaries with little worry, until those sinners happen to be people they care for whereupon the principles start to bend.
Happily God cares for all of us. I wouldn't have pitched my friend into the flames, and I can hardly imagine God would be less understanding than me.
So glad to have come across this. I've been trying hard to 'reach' Goths for contributions to My Last Song, which concentrates on funeral music, funerals and other end of life issues.
ReplyDeleteThis is an open invitation for people to contribute advice and observations on Gothic funerals, and the sort of music Goths might want to be sent off to.
Hello Mr Hensby, I don't want to douse you with disappointment but I don't think you'll get much here! Very few of my Goth friends read this blog, and given recent events not many of us are very much inclined to talk or think about funerals at the moment, at least not to anyone from outside. You could try contacting the folk who organise the Goth Eucharist in Cambridge, but they're going to be Christians too which isn't exactly representative of Goths as a whole.
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