Brrring, Brrring, Ego Te Absolvo

I have just absolved somebody of their sins over the telephone.

This person is decidedly disturbed or I wouldn't have done so, but having had a conversation in which I refused to re-baptise him to cleanse him of his sins, and said that, well, all things being equal, it was really a matter between him and God and that he could just say he was really sorry for whatever it was and that would be fine, it was the quickest way of resolving the matter, especially when he phoned back to say he couldn't go to sleep until he was absolved. So it was, 'OurLordJesusChristwhohasleftpowertohisChurchtoabsolveallwhotrulyrepent blah blah blah, in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen. Right, go to bed now, Trevor.' It doesn't help when this person has precisely the voice of E.L. Wisty, only flatter and with slightly less animation; to hear that saying 'I have blasphemed against the Holy Spirit' is really quite surreal (that wasn't, of course, the matter of his confession or I couldn't tell you).

I'm sure this breaks every rule of Canon Law possible, but it seemed to make him happy, and it made me very happy too, because I could go to bed as well.

Become a Roman Catholic? When I'm this far into Father Ted territory already, why bother?