Out of the Way

This was my fourth Clergy Conference; assuming I retire at 70 and nothing strange happens to the triennial pattern of conferences in the interim, I have eight of these to go. Not that I'm counting. 

I felt less irritated this time than on the three previous occasions. You might put this down to advancing age and mellowness, but some others said the same. It may be due to the presence of our new diocesan, who being a moderate Evangelical at least engages with the general moderate Evangelical tone of the worship with some enthusiasm rather than seeming faintly embarrassed as his predecessor did, or I would if called on to do so. I can't quite make him out yet: I have the strange impression that his geniality and approachability is actually a means of keeping people at a distance, and gives no hint as to what the real person is like. 

His exposition of Elijah as a reflection of the Conference theme of 'taking care' was basically unconvincing but at least done in a way that kept us involved. On Wednesday Paula Gooder explained St Paul's approach to 'the body' with her usual enthusiasm, while yesterday Sam Wells of St-Martin-in-the-Fields delivered a rather dense lecture which he fully admitted was going to be dense and then during the Q&A session showed himself to be rather dry, in the better sense. The second questioner began 'I had to pop out for a moment during your lecture so you may already have dealt with this question'; 'Yes, I have', Dr Wells interrupted. Good though the speakers were, however, they would have been just as good somewhere in Surrey as in Derbyshire. 

For some bizarre reason the diocesan communications department were filming the whole thing. I spotted someone just before the final service being interviewed. 'I feel enthused, envigorated and refreshed!!' I felt strangely drained and enervated, so it was just as well I didn't get grabbed by the young men with the camera. 'Well, I feel a bit less pissed off than usual' is probably not a broadcastable response.

The most valuable insight I brought back with me came completely unbidden as I followed a trail of clergy back to the accommodation blocks to clear our rooms after breakfast, and found myself reflecting how ridiculous we all were. It wasn't a feeling of contempt, more of affection, seeing us all as not fundamentally very different from the six-year-olds at Church Club. We're all just overgrown children really, ludicrously trying our best, full of misconceptions and illusions and insecurities. Hopefully some good comes of all our efforts.