I know I wasn’t responsible for this awful event, but I was involved. It’s an unpleasant realisation to know that, as soon as I’m confronted with a problem – a crack in a glass door – my first thought is the inconvenience it’s going to cause me, and in the end even that was dealt with by someone else as Grant the churchwarden took the entire door away and got it fixed. Did my mood affect how I acted? Had I offered the whole thing in a tiny prayer before beginning, as I continually tell myself I should but vanishingly rarely do, might the Lord have been able to do something different with the situation? How our own sins and temptations interact with other people’s, and build up into something potentially tragic.
Friday, 31 March 2023
Sent On Their Way
Thursday, 30 March 2023
Where Did That Go/Come From
The oddest example (recently) was a tin of baked beans that rested on a shelf of the bookcase where we keep the orders of service for weeks. Every time I saw it I wondered how it had arrived, and resolved to take it to the food-bank basket at the Co-Op, and then forgot to do it. Yesterday I was actually going there to do a food-bank shop, and finally remembered the tin of beans at the right moment. This time, at last, it would find its way to where it could be truly useful, rather than an out-of-place oddity.
Of course, it had gone.
Monday, 27 March 2023
Passiontide Devotion
Delving into old service registers as I am at the moment has shown how common this kind of musical event in the days leading up to Easter was at one time. Lots of churches seem to have put on a similar kind of devotion, performance, or whatever, on a Sunday evening at the end of Lent, and I wonder whether this reflects the paucity of official Anglican liturgical provision for the season. Until Lent, Holy Week and Easter was published as late as 1984, if you wanted to do anything beyond what was available in the Prayer Book you had to borrow from Roman sources. Of course plenty did, even if they weren't all-out Roman Rite churches, but these musical offerings may have been part of the same attempt to add something appropriate to the diet.
Saturday, 25 March 2023
Goth Old, Goth New
Tea gave us a chance to complain about the current domination of the Goth world by nostalgia, or at least the sense of retrospect. I know it's a bit rich for me to moan about this as I've been banging on about its history for ages, but nobody now seems to produce anything else. As real Goth clubs go under, we celebrate one of the places where it all started; as fewer Goths seem to appear in public, we analyse where those that remain have come from. There are two major books coming up in a month or two examining the history of Gothic, John Robb's The Art of Darkness and Cathi Unsworth's The Season of the Witch - I wonder how they will each justify their space in an increasingly crowded field? The bands our friends occasionally rave about, even when they're newcomers, don't seem to bring anything very fresh to the table. On LiberFaciorum at the moment I seem to be bombarded with adverts for Goth-friendly clothing retailers - Disturbia, EMP, Killstar - and under the televisual influence of Wednesday Addams big white collars in various styles seem to be in for women, but, most of the fashion seems to be, in Ms Mauritia's words, 'Goth as Shein imagines it'. (Mind you, Stylesock seems to be doing interesting things, not all of them Gothic by any means, if you're a young person with enough money to spend on them, even with much-neglected men's clothing, which most of the time boils down to t-shirts and little else). Ah, age does terrible things to us, friends, and not even just physically.
Thursday, 23 March 2023
Building Sight
Tuesday, 21 March 2023
Quiet Day
Clarissa, who looks after Gristham church not far away and has kindly heard my confession a couple of times after the Cathedral ceased to be interested in such things, lives with her husband Simon in a former mill building in Bortley. They have a music room in a refurbished outbuilding and offered it to me should I ever want a place to run off to. I have been too disorganised to arrange a proper retreat this year, either to Malling Abbey or anywhere else, so yesterday I availed myself of their generosity and spent the entire day (at least from 9am to 5.30pm) in that space. Maintaining my faltering connection with holy Malling and its holy Sisters, I took the community's office book and read Lauds, Sext and Vespers for Lent, similar enough to the normal Anglican Office to feel I was indeed doing what I am enjoined to by Canon Law but different enough from it to be refreshing. I had with me my Bible (funnily enough), Fr Somerset Ward, and Michael Yelton's An Anglo-Catholic Miscellany, from which I learned about another religious order which passed through Surrey, the very weird Servants of Christ the King who once ran a home for boys with learning difficulties at Frensham, and which was governed by the odd Brother Joseph: he became convinced that God wanted him to utilise the talents of his young charges in a circus, at which he would appear as ringmaster in a monastic habit and a black top hat. But he had crossed the Tiber by then so this is one eccentricity the Church of England can't be blamed for.
My time at Bortley was, I think, rather fruitful if for nothing else than the picture that when the Holy Spirit deals with our sins it's a bit like unravelling a tangled skein of wool which has to be done one knot at a time before the stuff can be made into anything very useful; and tabulating all the instructions Jesus gives the people he speaks to, and demonstrating my suspicion that he mentions the sins of individuals only a handful of times.
I did leave the premises once, and walked the short distance up the muddy lane to the millpond where I saw three swans attempting to dismember a frog so they could eat it. If only two of them had gripped it and pulled it would have been easy, but they could only get as far as gobbling at it and throwing it about. There's a spiritual message in there somewhere. This is real old Surrey, all hollow lanes, tangled trees, tile-hung cottages, Bargate stone, and frost-nibbled antique red brick.
Sunday, 19 March 2023
Lion Cubs Den
Friday, 17 March 2023
Unwelcome, But Gone
Now, despite a former Staggers colleague of mine saying that a similar thing had appeared in his churchyard once and thoroughly discombobulated everyone who saw it, I wasn't expecting the Adversary to manifest himself nearby as a result, even if I was reading Jeremy Harte's Cloven Country at the time (about which I may say something on another occasion). But if there are malevolent intents about, even perfectly human ones, I do think they attract more and so they need to be recognised and defused in some way.
Yesterday I discovered that the mask had gone. Perhaps I was being too sensitive and someone was simply showing off their pottery skills (Ms Kittywitch commented that it was better than anything she ever produced in pottery class - 'the best I ever managed was a creepy hedgehog'). Professor Abacus asked 'Will it return?' and that would be really unsettling. LiberFaciorum did its best to add to the mood by posting on my timeline the banner 'Suggested for You' and then a picture of Patrick Troughton as Fr Brennan in The Omen skewered by a pole. How encouraging in my ministry.
Wednesday, 15 March 2023
Sapper Satire
The question had arisen who might open the exhibition. It would have been easy enough to drag in some well-known retired officer, but boring. One morning as the dread day approached I asked John whether we'd got any further with the matter. 'Yes', he said, 'Bill Tidy's going to do it'. How did you manage that? I asked. 'Phoned him up', was the simple answer. Well, if you don't ask you don't get, I suppose.
As it turned out, Tidy was clearly very, very tickled indeed to be asked to do the job, someone who in his military career had been no more than a lowly sapper now being feted by senior officers and dignitaries of the Corps. I suspect that John, who despite being a former Territorial RE officer retained an anarchistic streak, also enjoyed the slight but definite air of trepidation that surrounded our guest in case he did something really naughty. In the end all that happened was that when the Chief Royal Engineer, General Sir John Stibbon, invited Tidy to ascend the walkway over the displays and cut the ribbon, the cartoonist merely grinned and said, 'Ah, but if I follow a General, can I be sure he knows where he's going?' We all chuckled but you could almost hear the sound of the Chief Royal's teeth being gritted.
The errant mannequin that had caused so many problems was finally propped up against a box in a very odd way for someone supposed to be attacking a North Korean hideout, but the most interesting incident concerned the display which showed an armoured car being unpacked after being lowered into the Malayan jungle. The forest scene had been built by some outside contractors and was really impressive, with a pump-powered stream running past and convincing fake plants bedded into what we were assured was heat-treated, sterile soil. After a couple of weeks the soil began to sprout mushrooms. They were not a British species, apparently, so at least that had an authenticity too.
Monday, 13 March 2023
Violating Community Standards
He rarely finds his way into the centre of the village and sometimes as I make my way to church for the first service on a Sunday I find the amount of garbage I pass oppressive, and depressive, so I try to do something about it. Yesterday I was a couple of minutes earlier than usual so before the trash became inaccessible beneath parked cars I took the litter-picker and a bag and did a quick sweep of the short stretch of street along from the church, past the kebab shop which is responsible for a lot of the litter and round the corner. There was the odd can and bottle, lots of bits of paper and wrappers, a sole face mask (not as many of them as there used to be) and a glove.
The reaction of the few early-Sunday passersby always fascinates me in that the expressions I catch out of the corner of my eye seem a weird mixture of confusion and outrage. Not only is picking up litter in full view of others apparently a bizarre, eccentric and shocking activity, it's also objectionable, it seems. And I thought it was one of the more useful things I do with my time, frankly.
Saturday, 11 March 2023
Opening the Word
I often say that the early martyrs we commemorate in the calendar are people we know next to nothing about, but that’s not quite the case with Perpetua, Felicity and their companions – though what we know about them is mainly the story of their martyrdom, which we have a detailed account of, some of which could even be in their own words. In fact, through that account they became the model for the early martyrs of the Church, and accounts of what happened to them, as well.
Some of the story might seem a bit morbid and odd,
especially perhaps the bit where the gladiator is making a mess of despatching
Perpetua and she basically says ‘Oh, give it here’ and grabs his sword-arm to
guide the knife to her own throat – but then if you’re on the way out anyway
you probably want to expedite matters!
In fact in the story I find myself thinking today less
about the saints and more about the crowd in the arena in Carthage at the time. Martyrdom is hard, but
cruelty is all too easy. For the crowd watching Perpetua, Felicity and the
others, that kind of cruelty was part of public life, the culture they were
brought up with. Even if what happened in the arena was often a way of
executing people, it was death as a spectacle, an entertainment, whether people
were being gored by wild animals, or someone who’d never handled a weapon
before was being put up against a professional gladiator – they weren’t going
to last very long. The crowds had learned their cruelty.
We must be aware of every step that takes us along that road, whether as individuals or collectively, even if it seems like a small one – because we know where it goes. To argue and act against cruelty in our own time, which may not be popular at all, may just be the martyrdom we are called to.
Thursday, 9 March 2023
Poetry Reading
The predecessor of Shouting at Crows in this respect was Colin Simms's Goshawk Poems, which I bought at the Post Office in Garrigill while I was on holiday last Autumn: it was one of a set of volumes in the window wrapped in cellophane to protect them from the damp. I boggled at the sheer amount Mr Simms has apparently managed to write over his career as a biologist and an observer of birds: this book alone runs to about 140 pages, and his oeuvre includes dozens of similar volumes. And I did find it quite hard to batter my way through: it strikes me, dreadful though it might be to someone who spends a lot of time watching them, that there's only so much you can say about goshawks, and I would really rather read about people. Lately, in fact, leaving PJ Harvey's baleful Orlam to one side, my poetic excursions have been a bit unsatisfying. The Collected Poems of Arthur Hugh Clough, which Lady Arlen herself bought me years and years ago, was shocking old tripe and it was no surprise so little of it was ever published. Mary Barnard's lucid, Sappho-like lyrics were enjoyable but not quite as sparkling as I expected. I found Bedouin of the London Evening by the mythical Rosemary Tonks almost impenetrable. Revisiting Thomas Hardy increased my respect for his industry and inventiveness but I felt little warmer towards his work. My favourites remain Geoffrey Hill, who you may well have heard of, and Elisabeth Bletsoe, who you almost certainly haven't.
In this company, I rather liked Shouting at Crows, with its meditations on pain and loss in the small, domestic, hidden, and unstated. I wonder whether the next adventure, Jeremy Reed's Patron Saint of Eyeliner, will be as worthwhile?
Tuesday, 7 March 2023
What You Think You Need
Sunday, 5 March 2023
Spring, Believe It Or Not
In the pond, the fish continue to skulk around the bottom as it is too chilly for them to be very active, and this coming week is hardly likely to encourage them. There is frogspawn, and I'm considering whether I should take out a handful and rear the tadpoles indoors, not only because the cold could easily get to them, but because I don't fancy their chances once the fish do get active.
Friday, 3 March 2023
Swanvale Halt Book Club: 'Villager', by Tom Cox (2022)
You often hear it stated that in this or that book ‘the landscape is itself a character’, and in Villager that is quite literally the case, so if you can’t swallow that device you’re not going to get very far. This would be a shame, as the chapters where the moorland that shadows Underhill – a place which, if it were real, would just be on the edge of Dartmoor – speaks for itself are short and self-contained, while the rest is an emotional and psychological tonic for the jaded 21st-century. Mr Cox’s other fiction has been in short-story form and this book builds a novel out of a collection of linked stories, zipping backward and forward from the present to the near-past and the near-future. Some of the characters know one another, and a person mentioned in one chapter might get their chance to be the centre of attention in another, set in another time; so by the end you have built up a patchwork portrait of this place and the individuals within it. One episode is told via messages posted to a village Whatsapp group, while another (set the farthest in the future) is related through the protagonist’s conversation with an AI search engine, so I suspect this book would be called ‘experimental’ if it was about horrible happenings done by dreadful people, but it’s not: most of the characters we meet are pleasantly ordinary, there is a good deal of generous humour, and even if there are deaths and floods they are no more than most of us might expect to encounter from time to time. This concentration on the small and undramatic means almost certainly that Villager is destined to be treated as less clever and accomplished than it is. It is humane and kind and other things that critics don’t rate that highly, but anyone else can read it and be a little uplifted by finding the human spirit, and its place in the creation, affirmed.
Wednesday, 1 March 2023
New Responsibilities
And the evening offered another gathering, Churches
Together in Hornington & District. Now, this I’ve known I will be taking on
for quite some time as I’ve been Vice-Chair for the past year, preparing to
ascend to Chair at the AGM. I’m not sure what to do with SCP particularly,
apart from providing a space for my colleagues to bend a sympathetic ear, but I
do have some thoughts about Churches Together. The schedule of events could do
with being pruned a bit; for instance, in this year’s calendar a ‘Pentecost
Songs of Praise’ appears which was done last year over the Jubilee weekend as part of those celebrations,
and I would quite like that not to become a regular fixture without anyone
actually taking a decision about it. We also claim to be co-operating in
service to the community, but we don’t really. I wonder whether getting our
various pastoral assistants together to swap experiences and think about issues
of concern to the Hornington area we might be able to tackle together in some
way. It might come to nothing, but it’s a different way of going about what we say
we do.
How I fit it all in is another matter, but as our Area
Dean is resigning and I really did not want to be considered for that thankless
task, I thought it a wise precaution to do take on something else instead!