Public Appreciation

We have lovely new noticeboards at Swanvale Halt church which we have been planning for about two years, and on Wednesday they were installed. They are very smart and I am very pleased. The one that faces the road even has my correct phone number on it.

I was transferring the notices into the smaller one near the church door when I became aware of a man standing behind me on the path that runs along the churchyard. 'That'll get vandalised!', he called, and the note of triumphal satisfaction was unmistakable. You could imagine him saying with the same tone, 'That'll be cancer then!' when a friend complains of a stomach ache. I say 'friend', perhaps 'person in the queue at the Co-op' would be more realistic. I couldn't think what to reply, and carried on with what I was doing, thus forcing him to repeat with a slighter greater note of insistence, 'That'll get vandalised!' 'Well, we hope not', was all I could manage at this stage. 'Well, of course', he agreed, and went on his way.

Seconds later another fellow came past. After a moment's silence he said with a clear tone of disapproval, 'Is that permanent?' and on being told it was supposed to be he went on to express the hope that it avoided the attentions of the rude youths who gave him so much grief from the bench in the churchyard when he was on his way home from the station. 'And the police are useless. Bloody useless they are', he finished calling back as he followed the first man along the path.

Finally little Doris arrived. Doris is a former primary school head and member of the congregation. 'What lovely noticeboards', she said. 'We've been waiting for those for ages. They look so smart.'

Got one, anyway, I thought. The boards have survived the first Friday so are probably now as safe as the old ones were.