A Room in Stanwell

Almost inevitably when the Diocese puts on some training that I think it might actually be worthwhile to do it turns out to be on a Thursday when I am usually off: today's session at a small community centre in Stanwell about suicide prevention was organised not by them but by the County Council. The first challenge was finding the stairs and I was not the only person who ended up circling the ground floor before being directed towards an unmarked door that didn't open but slid to one side. That initiative test over the whole session turned out rather good, very coherently and clearly focused on how to respond to someone who has suicidal thoughts. The training came from the communities bit of the Council and was accordingly multiethnic and multifaith, but it was no surprise that the majority of us were white (welcome to Surrey) and connected to churches rather than any other setting.

The main points are to raise the subject very baldly and explicitly if you have any worries that the person you are talking to may be suicidally-inclined. They might say it themselves, but are more likely to talk around it, hinting that there is something very wrong and hoping - maybe against their conscious intention - that you will ask. The next task is to work out how immediate their plans are: lots of people battle with self-destructive thoughts and urges but never get further than that and never plan to. And then there are the agencies to connect them with, if you can: you should always presume that raising the matter, however covertly, is an invitation to intervene, even if the individual claims not to want it.

These are good guidelines for encounters that might take place in a professional or general social context, say, someone you may meet at work or another setting. Many years ago, though, I got to know someone who was a high suicide risk and, more by blundering luck than judgement, kept them alive. They were already under the care of the statutory agencies and I can only hope that those are more active now than they were then. I'm not sure a phone call to a crisis centre would have made that much difference - though with more knowledge I might at least have been emboldened to try.

Photo: view from the window. There were no distractions.